Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

So I have a neighbor whose son is in my son's pre-school class. They're friends. We used to be friends. Truthfully, I have no idea why we're not friends anymore, because the reason I think we're not friends is so absolutely insane it can't possibly be true. Things started going downhill in November. At Christmas, we gave her an ornament from Lenox personalized with her family's name. She gave us nothing. This is totally not a big deal as most of our neighbors gave us nothing. However, on Facebook, she posted a status saying she was baking gifts for her neighbors for Christmas. Interesting. So she passive-aggresively mentioned on Facebook how she hates people who post about their political opinions (which I often do), and how people should keep their opinions to themselves. I suggested she block people she doesn't want to hear from. Next, in reference to a court decision affirming the firing of a Texas woman for desiring to pump breastmilk at work, she stated that there is a time and a place for breastfeeding. It should never be in public or at work. We clearly disagreed on that one. What I don't understand is that she jumped in to a discussion with other friends of mine who were all clearly pro-nursing and said something very inflamatory. Did I mention that I nursed my youngest at her house during a dinner (away from the table) once? Was she grossed out wishing I would leave? Who knows. So she unfriended me on Facebook and has been pretty much awful to me ever since. She is very unpleasant and has also convinced her brother (who also has a child in my son's class) that I should be avoided as well. Needless to say, since our kids are actually friends, this has made birthday parties and school events very uncomfortable for me. But I won't deny Owen (or the other kids) the joy of the parties because of some petty squabble.

So I've been thinking about trying to be the better person. I've talked with my husband about approaching her and asking if we could at least be civil with each other, polite in public, for the sake of our kids. But last week may have just been it for me. I found out she was having a girls' night out party at her house (which I can pretty much see from my house) last Friday. No big deal, I guess. I shouldn't expect someone who doesn't even like me to invite me to her house. But at a Mother's Day Brunch at my son's pre-school, I realized she invited just about every mother in his class. They were all stopping by during the bruch (somehow we ended up sitting at the same table) telling her they'd be there and how much they were looking forward to it. I seriously cried all the way home. I'm 37 years old. And I'm crying and I'm pissed at myself for crying. All of a sudden I'm thrust into the emotions I felt as an 8th grader or a freshman in high school. What the hell? Every time I feel like I'm making friends (we moved here a little less than two years ago), it turns out I'm not making friends. We're adults, and there are still seriously cliques. Not kidding. I don't go to church, so I don't fit in with certain people. I don't go out drinking, so I don't fit in with others. I'm too damn liberal and opinionated, so some people don't want to associate with me. I can't freaking figure it out. And I'm so mad at myself for even caring. But this lady may have just pushed me over the edge.