Stairway to nowhere.

As I've previously stated, I don't believe in god. And as I knew it would, making that statement has left me feeling judged by others. Nonetheless, coming out with the truth was important to me. Now I don't go around meeting new people, shaking their hands and saying "nice to meet you, I'm an atheist." That would be weird. Of course as a younger person, I wouldn't have introduced myself as a Methodist either. There's a lot more to who I am than can be described in one word (some people would disagree, I'm sure, thinnking of a few that can't be said in front of children).

So I worry about what people think about me. I probably shouldn't, but I do. This morning I was thinking about those who believe I won't go to heaven because I don't believe in god. Many of those also worry about my children growing up in a godless home and what that will do to their eternal souls. Are my children doomed to spend an eternity in hell? And is this my fault? The answer is no. To both of those questions. Here's why:

I attempt to lead a good life (everyone falters at times, I'm sure). I do this because I feel it is the right thing to do as a human being. I do not do this because I'm told to by a minister, the bible, etc. I don't do good things in order to get into heaven. Well, because I don't believe in heaven. I'm raising my children to care for others, treat people with love and respect, be kind to the earth, and become honest, decent human beings. I believe the time we have on earth is it. Because of this, we should make the most of our time. I'm so happy to be able to have this time with my family and friends. I want to enjoy them to the fullest. While many would disagree, I actually believe that it's selfish to desire everlasting life in heaven. Why isn't the life you live on earth enough?

So let's assume, hypothetically, there is a god, a heaven, and a hell. It's the general belief that a person cannot go to heaven unless they accept god as their savior and truly believe. So here I am, doing my best to live a good, decent life. I die. Do Christians really believe I will go to hell? Do they really believe that a person who does good things throughout their life will suffer for eternity? Do they believe that their god will not allow me into heaven because I don't believe in things that can't be proven? If the god that you belive in would have me suffer in the fires of hell for eternity, despite living a life in which I care for and help others, because I don't believe in him... I have to say I wouldn't want to worship a god like that.

It doesn't bother me at all to know that once I die, I'll have lived my life to the best of my abilities. And that will be it. It never made me feel any better to think about some unknown heaven where I would spend eternity after my death. That wasn't comforting. I will do my best to live a good life and to raise good, decent children. And we will enjoy our time together on this earth.